Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Cos it's my birthday!!!

I'm half asleep as I write this post, but it's my birthday and that's a good reason to defy sleep...
So much has been going on, most of it in my mind.

I'm usually happy, positive and excited. I'm wired like that. If you've read about temperaments, I'm a Sanguine. I'm an extroverted, friendly, hopeful girl who is easily distracted, lives for the moment, is almost always late and would easily win a gold medal for talking if it was an Olympic game :o)
I'm also very mischievous... This pic? That was me making faces on my wedding day. Need I say more?

These past few weeks though, I've had a dark cloud hanging over me. I've been so blue, it's hard to drag myself out of bed most mornings... Only God's grace has kept me going.

I'm usually in touch with my emotions and have to constantly work on not being controlled by my feelings, but I've worked out a system of blocking negative emotions by focusing on what's working and staying thankful. This has worked quite well and seen me through MAJOR tragedy.... *sigh* the things my eyes have seen...hmmmm... Only God's grace has kept me going.

Why then would this dark cloud not go away? It's not like anything bad happened to me. I only moved to a new country. Is that something to be sad about? I don't think so, cos I know it's an opportunity many would give an arm and a leg for... I can't explain it. I just DO NOT like it here. I feel like part of me closed down with my business in Nigeria. I miss my life back home. I miss my sisters and my brother. I miss my friends. I want to go home.

I'm sure that moving here now is the right thing for my family and I have no doubt in my mind that I'm where God wants me to be right now. Why then is that not enough reason to be happy? I don't know. I can't explain it. I'm just blue.
That's why I haven't been here a lot cos I would hate to project my negative emotions on y'all who take time out to come here. I'm not very good at masking my emotions (and I don't plan to ever be)... I'm happy you come here again and again and I don't plan on chasing you away by being negative.
I'm still thankful, still grateful to God for everything, but I'm still blue.

I woke up on Monday morning and thought to myself "It's time to take my joy back!" Enough of dragging myself through each day with no "Joie de vivre"... I dropped the munchkins off at daycare and went off to get pampered. I felt better after the manicure and pedicure :o) The massage chair? That one was something else! Enjoyment is good oh!!! You should've seen me. I was moaning audibly, going ooooh, ahhh...I am convinced that God didn't design me for suffering at all at all...I cannot afford to miss heaven. No way!!

My emotions are gradually catching up with my confessions and I'm positive things will get better. I'm not going to wait for this dark cloud to go away. I'll keep going. Day after day. I'll be strong. I'll keep holding on to His word
And now, dear brothers and sisters, let me say one more thing as I close this letter. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned from me and heard from me and saw me doing, and the God of peace will be with you.Philippians 4:8-9
I'll keep dwelling on the positive.
Love, life, good health, the love of my life D, my precious munchkins Nathan and Alexis, my siblings and their husbands Tope, Jimi, Busola, Kunle and Dotun; my nieces Babara, Anjola, Toluwanimi and Temiloluwa; my dear friends who have become sisters; my blogfam, and the many many women who have become a part of my life through my business. I have a lot to be grateful for and I'm fixing my thoughts on them like Paul said to do.

When I finally fall in love with America, I'll look back at this post and smile, knowing that life isn't about waiting for the storm to be over, it's about dancing in the rain.

Happy birthday Gbemi


  1. atta girl!!!!Happy Birthday hon, many many happy returns...
    I identify with that feeling but that too shall soon pass..esp. since u are convinced that it is in the blueprint. The Lord will perfect all that concerns u...
    So ow far na? na 9jaFOODie dey organise the choppies?...:>

  2. Happy Birthday to you and I pray the good Lord will perfect all that concerns you in Jesus name!

    Being in a new country and environment takes some time to completely get used to especially as you were already settled business wise in Nig but God works out the best for us at all times.

    Funny thing is that I find your blog very inspiring and your post today has got me dwelling on the positives in my life. You see, I have and still am believing God for a child and confess His word daily, I have been doing so for years now! My period started yesterday and I have been so blue. I read your post now and I am like 'it's time to take my joy back' and live life and be happy ;) God Bless you.

  3. This too shall pass...Happy Birthday Gbemi!!!

  4. Happy Birthday!

    Keep staying strong...very soon the cloud will pass.

    Stay Blessed!

  5. Happy Birthday Sisto!!!

    Hugs and kisses from Kunle, Busola, Tolu...wanimi (b4 Sis Tope has my neck lol) and Temilolu. Love u lots

    @Oyin..Hi, really inspired by ur attitude. Look forward to hearing ur testimony very soon :-) God bless u.


  6. You'll smile at the end...Happy Birthday.

  7. Happy Birthday
    Please dont be so hard on yourself
    Moving is a BIG deal. It took me time to accept to accept London as my new home.
    What is done is done.
    Take a deep breath and resolve to make the most of it.
    You and yours shall excel. Amen

  8. HAPPY!!!!!!!!! BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! GBEM, GBEMS!!!!! :-)

    Make sure you try and enjoy yourself my dear..otherwise I will bombard your inbox with emails LOL.

    Put on a Yinka Ayefele CD and komole in your living room.(just drag the curtains in your living room so nobody sees)LOL

    Soverign is our Lord for he always works everything out for our good. If we will only believe.
    Mwah xc

  9. Yeiiiiiiiiiiiiii...Happy Birthday to You Gbemi. may God use this year to manifest greater things in your life, you are blessed and highly favored IJN.

    BACK to your post :(.... don't be sad hon, it's normal to feel home sick. I moved to CA literally 11 days after my 18th birthdays. you can only imagine how lost I felt.that was almost 6 years ago, now I feel like I belong to two countries. you will be fine love. lagbara Olorun Oba to ni ojo eni. *dont make fun of my yoruba oo*

    lol@"I am convinced that God didn't design me for suffering at all at all...I cannot afford to miss heaven. No way!" hahahha... you too like enjoyment! lol.

    ENJOY your birthday. per a whole princess Gbemi birthday nah, food scatter for ground ooo. I dey expect una. :)

  10. Happy buffday friend mi and rmbr this too shall pass cos His banner over u is LUV.


    to my birthday sistah * raises glass filled with champagne*...many, many, many more years of prosperity,fun & blessings..amin!

    don't worry my dear sistah...we all do have our 'moments''s a passing would get over it....feel free to dump your moods on us... there are many shoulders to lean on...take care you hear?

    p.s...but really on your wedding day? are definitely a sanguine! :D

  12. Pele luv. I am certain you will come to love the U.S. Like I said yesterday we seem to be on the same journey (somewhat). The good thing is you know God has got ur back. Luv ya.

  13. Happy, happy birthday, Gbemi! And I'm glad you used the scripture my husband puts right in front of me when I start getting melancholic. Just reflect on all the good things and people around you. You have so much going for you and the move is one of them. It has its place in the beautiful pattern God is weaving out your life to be. Have yourself a lovely, lovely day!

  14. Happy birthday and wishing you many more.
    Back to your post, I guess I felt same way when I first moved to CA 10 years ago. I had a good job back home,family, friends all around , never a dull moment. This is just a phase I believe,. by God's grace you will get to enjoy your new country and your coast shall be enlarged. Just put all your trust in HIM, enjoy the moment and think about the opportunities around you and ways to make good use of them.
    Enjoy your day

  15. Awwww happy belated birthday. I hope you enjoyed your day. Many more years to you :D

  16. Happy birthday Gbemi! I just found your blog through 'secretlilies' and I love it! Hope to be a customer some day hopefully especially when the wedding bells start ringing (check out my latest blog post)!

    About feeling blue, I guess everyone has said what's on my mind- it will pass. We're having opposite issues; I've had to come back to Nigeria for a while after living in the UK for almost ten years and at first I used to cry almost everyday cos I missed all my friends and family in the UK, but I had to learn to make the most of my time in Nigeria, and now, I don't even know how I'd feel going back to the UK when the time comes...Being back home has been such a blessing; I was able to relax and learn everything I believe God wanted me to learn when I came to the conclusion that He allowed it for a reason. I read this somewhere; 'Thank God for what is given; don't allow the 'not given' to spoil it.'

    Like you said, some people would give an arm and leg (literally!) to be in your shoes :)

  17. Lol at HoneyDame! Abi oh. We'll come and virtually chop. No worries dear, your feelings will soon come around. It's all God's plan. Just try to be optimistic


  18. AWWWWWWWW...... great positive comments. Happy Birthday Gbemisoke and as your name means God lift me up... He certainly will lift you up spiritually, physically and mentally including you and your family. His purpose for moving everyone to America will be fulfilled in IJN. AMEN. I like you posts too..

    I like the wedding pic very unique (a happy go lucky girl)...

    @Oyin I rejoice with you because you joy will always overflow and he that makes all impossible things become possible will not disappoint you ever.

    God is awesome even when we do not realise it and positive attitude takes us a long way. Thank God for a positive mind-frame....

    JESUS BLESS......

  19. I love your blog but I usually don't post comments...but I felt I had to this First of...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Wishing you all the best in your endeavours.
    Ok regards to the dark's not uncommon for you to feel this way when you've just made a huge change in your life i.e moving to a new country. Life abroad and life back home are two totally different things and unknown to a lot of people back home, living in Nig has a lot of pros than they tend to see. After 11 years of living abroad, I can say home is home, no place like Naija! So it's not at all weird that you are feeling the way you are feeling right now. Just hang in there, and like you rightly said, u'll look back and laugh. I used to cry myself to sleep when I first moved to Europe; even though quality of life is better here, I missed home, missed my friends, missed everything that was vaguely Nigerian. Now, moving back home is something I'm not particularly looking forward to; a month's hols and Naija tires me cos the difference is clear like
    So yeah, just hang in there and stay as positive as u can! It'll surely get better...All the best! :-)

  20. Happy birthday girl!

    That picture made me laugh so much! LOL

    Keep hanging in there and treating yourself, everything will be fine before you know it. And I love that last line. Food for thought indeed.

  21. Gbemi, Happy belated birthday. I know you will be fine and you will do great. It happens with transition, pls roll with it and it shall pass.

    You made the right move to America, allow time to settle into your new city.
    I feel bad becos i could have reached out to you more now that we are in the same city. Hopefully now that Baby Joshua is here I can be there for you more.

    I went thru the same emotion myself so I know how you feel. But We have a lot of faith in you sister. You are strong, focused and driven, and you will look back on this time and laugh about it all.

    Gbemi, I cant wait to see you at the naming, come hungry and leave happy, lol!!!!

  22. I totally luv the way u ended this post....(When I finally fall in love with America, I'll look back at this post and smile, knowing that life isn't about waiting for the storm to be over, it's about dancing in the rain.)

    As always luv...u rock....hugs

  23. Thanks for this posting.....You have made me realize that I all things give thanks!

    I thank God for you!


  24. This is coming a bit late, but Happy Birthday Gbemi. Your birthday was just 3 days after mine. Wishing you the best as you get accustomed to your new environment. Don't worry. Everything is going to be OK.

  25. aww i feel u jor! i was so homesick when i first got here. u'll get used to it and YES u'll still be homesick from time to time but in the long run, u'll feel more at home here :)
    plz continue blogging regardless of how u feel..xx

  26. awwww... You all have me tearing up :(( I am blessed to have you and I do not take your show of love for granted. If you feel a sudden burst of positive energy, that's me sending love (truckloads of it) your way :x Thank you. You'll never know how much of a blessing you have been to me this season. May you never walk alone.

    @Oyin If you're reading this, please send me an email @ I've got something really important to share with you.

    Thank you all again.

    From a heart filled with gratitude and overflowing with love,

  27. E-hugs..dont worry, it is well....
    On a lighter note! Guess who I sighted in an FB picture, behind a friend who was receiving a suprise gift package organized by her husband?
    HEhehehehee, Big Brova is watching! Have a lovely week ahead...:* (on ur cheek o!)

  28. Small world!! Tolu's surprise right?? She's a dear dear friend. Thanks babe :-* right @ on my cheek :P


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